I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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