I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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