Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
