I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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