My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
