it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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