when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Congratulations! We have a period
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