I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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