SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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