You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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