When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I wear drunk well.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
