After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
