their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize