Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
