In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
