Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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