:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he shaved USA in his pubs
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
