i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
try to milk me bitch
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize