So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When did angry sex become our thing?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
