thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
