I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
