she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
