Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
