I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
