I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
