I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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