Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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