woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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