This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
