Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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