He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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