I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
