R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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