we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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