any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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