Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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