I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize