when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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