Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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