Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
