I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
