Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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