Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize