I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
