she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
