Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
