My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
