so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
