he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
