Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
