is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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