i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
