How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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