kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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