the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
love makes seman taste better
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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