I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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