She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
