I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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