Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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