Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
