and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
