so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
