Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize