i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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