My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
