god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
