if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
