the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize