its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You are the jesus of drinking
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
