My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
