You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize