Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
