We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
