I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
