She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
