I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
